Transcript of the video

Why can't red pigeons swim?

Hi, it's Elisabeth.

Welcome to my HelloFrench French lessons channel.

This is the last video of 2023, and I've decided to end the year with a touch of humor.

Have you ever heard jokes in French and not understood them or a pun?

Today we're going to look at 15 jokes in French and I'm going to explain them to you. I'll explain the vocabulary and why they're funny.

As usual, you can download the worksheet for this lesson free of charge by clicking on the link in the description.

What's a bat in a wig?

It's a mouse.

When you're bald, you're hairless, just like Vin Diesel, for example. Bats are an animal often associated with vampires. They're often seen in barns, for example. A bat. And a wig is hair that you can add to your head. So a bat wearing a wig is simply a mouse, because it's no longer bald. It now has hair.

Why are ducks always on time?

Because they're in the pond. There's a play on words here. In French, l'étang is like a small lake. You get that sometimes in parks. And "dans les temps", which is spelled differently, means you're on time, you're there at the right moment. Why are ducks always on time? Because they're "in time".

Which crustacean is the lightest in the sea?

Crustaceans are seafood. What's the lightest shellfish in the sea? The answer is... the clam. Light is the opposite of heavy. The clam is a seafood that I'm displaying on the screen, and the pun is that it's not heavy. If it's not heavy, it's light.

Why does a hunter always take his rifle to the bathroom?

A hunter is a person who hunts, who goes into the woods and forests with a rifle and hunts animals, for example wild boar or birds, deer... Why do hunters always go to the toilet with their rifle? To flush the toilet. In French, we say "tirer la chasse" or "tirer la flush".

And "tirer" in French also means "to fire a bullet from a gun". So there's a play on words here. Hunters go to the toilet with their rifle to flush the toilet.

Here, it's a joke with a pun that's a bit... on a historical figure.

Why didn't Napoleon want to buy a house?

Because he had a good apartment. So Napoleon Bonaparte is a French emperor. Very often, the French will say "mon appart", they'll shorten the word rather than say "mon appartement". It's colloquial, but it's much shorter when you're talking to friends or family. So, he had a good apartment. So he didn't need to buy a house.

Why are clothes always tired when they come out of the washing machine?

The answer is because they've been washed. So, the word "washed" is actually used to say that clothes have been washed. But also, in colloquial language, if I say I'm washed out, it means I'm exhausted, I'm very tired.

Why are clothes always tired when they come out of the machine?

Because they're washed out.

Here, you'll see, we've got another oral pun. Why do sheep like chewing gum? Because it's good for their breath/wool. So, in French, la laine, spelled L-A-I-N-E, is what you find on sheep. You can make sweaters out of wool. But haleine, which is spelled H-A-L-E-I-N-E, is the smell that comes out of our mouths. So chewing gum is good for breath/wool.

What fish doesn't have a birth certificate?

The answer is breaded fish. In French, poisson pané is fish that has been fried in a frying pan or deep-fat fryer with breadcrumbs. But here, of course, as you've probably gathered by now, it doesn't have a birth certificate because it hasn't been born. It hasn't been born yet.

Why does the Hulk have a beautiful garden?

Because he's got a green thumb. You've probably heard of the Hulk, the character who's green from head to toe. In French, when we say that someone has a green thumb, we mean that he has a gift for plants, that he's very good at growing flowers, plants and vegetables, for example.

So he's very good at gardening. The Hulk has a beautiful garden because he has a green thumb.

Why don't wind turbines have any friends?

Because they're always catching wind. In French, "se prendre des vents" is a colloquial expression meaning that when you talk, no one talks back. People don't take much interest in you. Wind turbines, on the other hand, have wind blowing through the propellers to produce energy, so they get caught in the wind.

What's a history teacher's favourite fruit?

Dat(t)es. Dates are the fruit I'm showing you on the screen, and of course we also use this word to refer to a day. For example, December 29, 2023 is a date. And when you're a history teacher, you spend all day talking about dates.

What does a lemon say when it makes a robbery?

A hold-up is a robbery in which someone threatens you with a weapon. For example, a jewelry store, a supermarket or a bank could be held up. So, what does a lemon say when it pulls off a robbery? He says: "Plus a zest".

Zest is the colored skin found on citrus fruits. Zest can be used to flavour pastries, cakes, creams, etc. In French, there's an articulation disorder known colloquially as "zozotement". You could say that people "lisp".

It's an articulation disorder and disrupts articulation, especially of "s", "z" and "ch". Sometimes, when children are learning to speak, they lisp because they can't make the right sounds directly. This joke plays on that a little. Instead of saying "plus un geste", the lemon will say "plus un zeste".

And there's the play on words in relation to his skin. "That's what robbers usually say, because they want people to stop moving and put their hands up so they can operate in peace.

What does a pencil say when it leaves for the evening?

A pencil is a tool used for drawing or writing, and can be erased with an eraser. What does a pencil say when it leaves the party?

He says, "Hi, I'm trimming." Here, once again, we have a double meaning on the expression "pruning".

In everyday language, we'd say "sharpen a pencil". I sharpen a pencil with a pencil sharpener. But in colloquial language, "se tailler" means to leave. It's a bit like "je me casse", "je me barre", "je me taille"...

When a pencil leaves the party, it says, "I'm sharpening."

What do a letter carrier and a juggler have in common?

A juggler is someone who might, for example, work in a circus and throw balls in the air. What do a letter carrier and a juggler have in common?

They both need a lot of skill to succeed. Once again, the word "adresse" has a double meaning in French. This time, both meanings are common parlance. Addresses are postal addresses. Obviously, the letter carrier needs to know the addresses to be able to deliver the mail. In French, l'adresse also means the ability to be deft with one's hands.

Obviously, when you're juggling, you need to be concentrated and fairly dexterous, so you need skill.

Last joke to end 2023 on a high note.

Why can't red pigeons swim?

Pigeons are very common in cities, and are gray birds.

For example, in Piazza San Marco in Venice, there are lots and lots of pigeons. And red is a color that can be found in hair. You can be blond, brunette or redhead.

It's the color closest to orange. Why can't red pigeons swim?

The answer is because pigeons coo/ roux coulent. "Roucouler" is a verb, and roucoulements are noises made by pigeons.

It's the call of the pigeons. Obviously, there's a pun here. Red pigeons sink. "To sink means to sink into the water. For example, if I throw a stone into a lake, it's quite heavy, so it will sink.

She'll sink to the bottom. Here, as you can see, red pigeons can't swim, no, they sink. Red pigeons coo.

I hope you've enjoyed this video, and that it ends the year on a happy note.

I wish you a very, very beautiful day.

Don't forget that you can download the free sheet to review vocabulary and all those jokes. And, of course, let's all "like" this last video of the year.

And if you're not yet a subscriber, sign up to start 2024 on the right foot.

See you next year for a new video.