Transcript

If you're toasting with a Frenchman, there are two rules you must follow. The first is to look him in the eye. It's impolite to say "me and my husband went to the movies". Always put yourself second.

Hello everyone, I hope you're well. Today we're going to talk about politeness, the rules of politeness in France.

I'm sure that some of these conventions and rules of politeness are common to your country. But I'm also sure that some customs and rules of politeness will surprise you.

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The first rule of politeness, when you enter a waiting room, for example a doctor's surgery, is to say hello to the other patients and people waiting. Generally speaking, we often say "good morning".

When you enter an elevator, you also say "bonjour". Similarly, when you pass someone in your building in France, you always say bonjour. If someone doesn't say hello, they're being rude.

When you address a person you don't know, you must be polite. So use the second person plural. So I know that in some countries, you're only supposed to use the formal form of address in very specific cases, and even in English, the formal form of address doesn't exist.

But in France, it's very common to be polite to everyone you don't know. Then, another rule of politeness: when you're invited to dinner or a party at someone's house, it's not very polite to arrive on time. So if the person says 8 p.m., it's not very polite to arrive at 8 p.m. sharp, or to arrive a little early, because the person organizing the dinner or party may not be ready.

So it's normal to arrive about ten minutes late. On the other hand, if you're going to arrive 30 minutes late, you absolutely have to let someone know, otherwise they'll be very upset. Unless, of course, you've been invited to a party where there's no real time limit - you're told "you can arrive from 9 p.m.", for example - and it's with young people, obviously, that's a different matter.

Another convention is that if you're invited to someone's home, you have to bring something. So, for example, a bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers, something for dessert, like chocolates. But it's really quite common to bring something when you're invited to people's homes.

You certainly know that in France, we love to have aperitifs. Once you've been served your drink, you can't just start drinking like that. It's impolite. When you have several people around a table, you have to toast before you drink. Toasting means raising your glass and clinking it with the others'. But it's not as simple as that. If you're toasting with a Frenchman, there are two rules you must follow. The first is to look him in the eye. And the second thing is, if there are three or four of you, don't cross your glasses. It's bad luck.

When you're eating with other people, it's very impolite to talk with your mouth full. So when you have food in your mouth, you must wait until you've swallowed it before speaking.

In a similar vein, it's not polite to eat with your mouth open, as children are often told. Again, when you're invited to someone's home, the convention is to finish your plate. The person inviting you, the host, could take it badly if you don't finish your plate; you have to eat everything.

Of course, you shouldn't make yourself ill either. I sometimes don't finish, and it's no big deal either. It depends on who you're with.

Next rule again when you are at the table and you want to refill and finish a dish, so take the last portion of something, so for example a piece of cake or mashed potatoes, finish a bottle of Fanta for example. You should always ask other people if they want it.

That's the convention. Most of the time, they'll tell you no. It's a kind of politeness game. So even if one of them wanted the last piece of cake, as you asked in the first place, you can take it. Or if someone says "ah, I'd like some more cake", you cut the piece in half, for example. But you have to ask if anyone wants more and not just help yourself to the last piece. That's very rude.

Then, another rule of politeness, and this is one I hear a lot of foreigners making when they speak French. If I want to talk about myself and another person. For example, to say that we went to the movies. It's quite impolite to say "moi et mon mari, nous sommes allés au cinéma". You always have to come second. So I should say "my husband and I went to the cinema". So, for example, I could also say "you and I have a lot in common" and not "me and you have a lot in common". It's not very polite to put yourself first.

Another thing that comes to mind when you have a runny nose, when you have a cold, it's impolite in France to sniff. So sniffling is when you go like this. It's really impolite in France. You have to take a handkerchief and blow your nose.

I have a friend who lived in Brazil for a few months and she told me that over there it was a bit the opposite, that it was impolite to blow your nose in front of people, that it was better to sniff. If any Brazilians see this video, let me know in the comments if it's true.

That's it, this video is over. I hope you enjoyed it. Of course, put a j'aime and if you're not already a subscriber, subscribe and activate the bell so you don't miss any of my videos.

See you soon!